This blog has already started putting me out of my comfort zone. Anyone that has known me for awhile, knows that I have a pretty high level of disclosure. But there is something about putting my personal information out there for the whole world to potentially read that makes me really uncomfortable (even though I am pretty sure there are probably like two people that ever read this)! TBF encouraged me about a week ago to start putting my blog articles on my Facebook page so that if anyone wanted to find out what I am up to, they can do that with a click of a button through the links that I post. I was hesitant at first because I am posting some things that are a little personal, but I succumbed and have been posting intermittent blog links to my Facebook page.
With that rant over….I say all this because we are entering in to the preparation for the Paschal season and the preparation of the fast. The Orthodox fast is so involved (completely vegan to also exclude wine/alcohol and oil!). Trust me, it isn’t any easier for those that have been Orthodox since all their lives (many cradle Orthodox have told me countless times how hard it is, but there are more Orthodox believers that just don’t practice the fast that I have encountered). That’s why the church that TBF and I attend in Chesterton have put together a study group that is reading author Rita Madden’s new book Food, Faith, and Fasting: A Sacred Journey to Better Health. We all recognize that we need a support network and accountability to get through the food temptations that we encounter day in and day out while we grow in our faith during the Lenten Season.
I am at the beginning (Introduction and chapter 1) of Food, Faith, and Fasting. One of the recommendations by the author of the book is to keep a blog for accountability and support. Since I pretty much started this blog to journal my journey through Orthodoxy as well as grab some of my day to day ideas and thoughts for reflection, as well as share recipes and book recommendations…I thought, “This is perfect; my blog already exists!”
But all that said, it makes me a little uncomfortable in a weird way sharing this journey in this very public space. I am uncomfortable with the fact that I am at a size 16 clothes when I was a size 4 just ten years ago when I met and married my husband. I have allowed bad food choices to get the better of me and I have given in to temptation on more occasions than not. My struggles are very real with sugary sweets, although I try not to keep these types of things in the house–most of the time the only sugar you will find in my house is the sugar that goes in to my morning coffee.
There is so much more to my weight gain. There have been stress-related triggers. I have prioritized my life wrong in past on various occasions. I have been tempted without taking the time to understand where these temptations have come from. I am so excited for this Paschal journey. I truly believe that this journey is a culmination of answered prayers over the course of years. Please join me in this very raw and real journey as I learn to grow in wholeness and shed the baggage that I have been holding on to both physically, mentally and spiritually.